I have been feeling a bit weighed down these last couple of weeks. It's just all a bit much! Work, baby, schedules, wedding planning, tiny-housekeeping, etc. And I'm not one to glorify "busy". I'm actually not a fan. I love having a rich, full, and even challenging schedule....but it has to be one that allows me to have quiet moments, to feel rested, and to recharge from time to time. And so today I'm feeling grateful for a new month. I'm all about those fresh starts!
And as I was feeling overwhelmed recently, I thought back to this Instagram post I read back when I was just a few months pregnant with Ro. I remember at the time thinking "wow, there's no way this will be me". But at the same time I realized that I had no idea what it felt like to have a baby, and the writing sounded so authentic and true...I knew I should save it in case I ever found myself there.
Something in that passage speaks to me, and now I can see how easily one could fall into this place. I've gone back to it a couple of times since I had Rowen, using it to check-in on myself. It's been a kind reminder to be mindful and present during these crazy times. And lately I've felt almost to that point of "merely surviving" and lonely frustration. I've caught myself pining for those magical scenes and curated lives I see on Instagram photos, wishing for the "big and better". But when I take a moment to think about it, I know I'm here, present. Laughing with Rowen everyday, smiling at our miraculous views, putting everything else aside when necessary to embrace slow moments of love and discovery. And the anxiety goes away. Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder!
And thank goodness for photos, which help keep the memories clear. Here are some taken back when Rowen was a little 2-month-old squirt by our dear friend Alexa Heung.